Protect Yourself: Using Boundaries in Your Relationship

So, you’re exhausted and still feeling guilty about saying “no”. You hate to let people down. Saying “yes” when you don’t mean it. You’re also taking on the feelings, thoughts, actions and possibly the choices of others. For instance, I’d love to take a job in Florida, but my mom would be so upset. Some common things you may say or do are:

1. Question why are people so selfish

2. “If you want it done right, you've got to do it yourself”

3. “I need, but I have to help first…”

4. Question why don’t people do the same for you

5. Accept food, touch, gifts, sex that you dont want 

Instead of dealing with these feelings and thoughts constantly, try focusing on your needs and desires.That behavior that is driving you crazy, stop accepting it. Remove yourself from relationships that are continuously hurting you; currently known as toxic relationships. Take care of you the way you take care of others. These are some boundaries that you can implement to feel better and have healthy relationships:

1. Take care of yourself

2. Ask for want you want/need

3. Take responsibility for your own happiness

4. Maintain your values

5. Say no without feeling guilty

Using boundaries does not mean that you no longer care. It is important that you take care of yourself FIRST. Making these changes in your life can help you to let go of anger, resentment, depressed mood, and even anxiety. It can be extremely overwhelming to over extend yourself and take on more than you are able to manage. It’s time to give yourself what you are so quick to give to others. You are responsible for you. Become familiar with your limits, desires, wants and needs. You are important and you matter.