Taking care of yourself can sometimes result in you letting someone down. Many people may have an opinion about who you are and how you do things. But, when it comes to your mental health those opinions don’t matter. Your mental health is more important than the opinions of others, even your family. Sometimes you aren’t able to express your concerns at all. You may have been told that “you need Jesus” and to “pray”. My response, you can have both Jesus and a therapist. You don’t have to choose and should not be burdened with making a choice while your mental health hangs in the balance. 

People of color are more likely to suffer in silence. You are often told to “man up” or are glorified for being a “strong Black woman”. Talking about your feelings of distress, anxiety, trauma, or depression would be extremely difficult if that means that you no longer appear strong by your family, your community. This outlook creates feelings of shame and guilt. How could you not think something is wrong with you from this perspective? This shapes a great misunderstanding and therefore lack of understanding symptoms. POCs, especially African-Americans, will be less likely to seek therapy as a support during these times. No one is perfect and seeing a therapist is a sign of great strength. 

“It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes. And it’s okay to do something that you hadn’t done because if we don’t do those things we never grow.”

— Dawn Stanyon

Asking for help in these situations can be extremely overwhelming. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but demonstrates true strength in your ability to be vulnerable. Carrying the weight of anxiety, depression, trauma, abuse, neglect and stress, alone often leads to self-medicating or other addictive behaviors. Everyone has their battles to fight in life and have scars we cannot see. There are times in life that you need help to manage and process all that’s happening and has happened in your life. During these moments remember the the words of Dawn Stanyon, “it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes. And it’s okay to do something that you hadn’t done because if we don’t do those things we never grow.” And, to ask for help.

When you are not okay, leaning on your family, church, and community for support is fantastic. There may be times when that is not enough and that’s when seeking out a mental health provider can help. It’s time to normalize treatment and redefine what it means to be ‘strong’. There is strength in taking care of your needs and seeking professional help.